Motherhood

Storm4‘s CEO and founder, Kayleigh Bottomley, recently returned from maternity leave. Below, she shares her thoughts on motherhood, how it has shifted her work-life mentality, and Mum Guilt.

In many ways founding a business is like becoming a parent… or so I thought until I actually became a parent! In fact they are nothing alike, in business you take risks, you make mistakes and learn fast from them without remorse or guilt, you give “your all” but when comparing this to parenthood the all you gave pales into insignificance. Parenthood or at least first-time parenthood is an absolute rollercoaster of emotions: you’re a different person with different priorities, but still in the back of my mind whilst holding a baby that slept for 16 hours a day, I couldn’t help but wonder how my business was doing.

Did they miss me, had I set them up for success in my absence, was the market different, had I equipped them for any changes, oh the babies awake, switch into Mum mode, dote on first smiles and obsess over toilet habits and sleeping patterns that don’t exist yet, baby sleeps, back to work, did we hit forecast this month, are they doing better without me there, is that a good thing, someone’s left, could I have stopped it, baby wakes up, Mum mode, a love like no other, never wanting to leave their side, watching them learn and grow, trying to find a routine, celebrating sleep milestones, Baby sleeps, a new hire wow, I wonder how that will change the business, am I out of touch, should I be doing more, keep in touch days fly by but I can’t have the impact I want, baby wakes, oh my god, 6 months have gone by, I’m back to work next week, how did this happen, am I ready, should I go back, the business needs me, my baby needs me, my partner needs me, I need me time. Wow!

I’m back to work next week, how did this happen, am I ready, should I go back, the business needs me, my baby needs me, my partner needs me, I need me time.

Mum guilt is something I swore to myself I wouldn’t suffer from. Everything I would ultimately be doing would be for the betterment of my child, I knew that, explicitly, so why would I feel guilt! Well, the answer to that is complex. It’s because nothing you do feels 100% right anymore, you’re balancing not only your own needs, wants and desires and not also just your child’s but also your future child, the grown up version that you’re desperately trying to predict what would be best for. Add in family, friends and of course your forgotten partner who is trying their utmost to support you but ultimately is missing the support you used to provide them whilst all these things settle into place and that makes for an amazing recipe for Mum Guilt.

However I am now six weeks post my return to work, and what I can absolutely say is it gets easier and more natural. Day by day, week by week, the guilt fades with the assured knowledge this is the right thing long term, you don’t suffer fools anymore, you’ve made a choice to be here rather than there so here best be 100% the opportunity you need it to be. This makes an amazing recipe for happiness and success. To be continued…..